the slow dance of the infinite stars.

I wore makeup to work.

my friend sara threw her hands over her mouth when she saw me, then she picked up the phone and called her husband and told him to come into her office because he had to see me, after she hung up she said I looked like a movie star. I’m pretty sure I turned red right down to my boot clad toes.

the VP Assistant that looks like a runway model said I looked nice today.

I somehow got up the courage to ask Sean to come see my play. I was sitting on the floor in his office and I said ” do you like plays?” he said he didn’t know. I asked if he would want to come to a play? he said sure. I asked if he would want to come to my play? he gave me this weird knowing smile and said if its not far. I told him that it was in Ojai and he said ” that’s far…” I told him that he could come if he happened to be in the area and he said that he definitely would.

so not really a yes to my question but still: I’m becoming more sure of myself, or at least pretending to be more sure of myself. 

fake it til you make it right?

laurencephilomene:

it obviously isn’t completely ”irrelevant” but it definitely doesn’t determine one’s identity, and shouldn’t restrict anyone from doing anything/being who they are

someday the secrets of the world will be written on your skin: white hot and burning.

but until that day comes just watch, and listen.

pay close attention dear, don’t blink…..

1) applying eyeliner.

2) doing my hair ( I can put it into a ponytail and that’s about it.)

3) having perfect nails ( what’s a manicure?)

4) having perfect skin ( I get hurt a lot and have odd bruises all over my body. perfect skin doesn’t exist for me.)

5) wearing heels ( can’t do it. I fall. a lot. and then laugh at myself for falling.)

6) applying makeup ( nuff said.)

7) talking to people of the opposite/same sex ( I get giggly or too quiet and don’t know when to shut/speak up)

8) fashion choices ( tennis shoes with dresses. there is an example of my fashion sense.)

do you remember when words used to mean something?

when mountains could turn into giants and lift your imagination into the air?

do you remember when the world was filled with magic?

when you opened a book and could see an entire world sitting before you, fresh ink jumping out at you, soft pages caressing your fingertips and voices filling your head?

do you wan’t to know what happened?

you lost something the minute you grew up.

• Dollar Store Tennis Balls do not bounce, and are only good if you plan to hit them far distances.
• Everyone should try viewing the world through a tennis racket when it rains.
• Bloodhounds like to swim in fountains ( or at least the ones that have human companions in ojai do).
• All children eventually grow up, despite being told to stop growing.
• Sometimes being next to someone and staying silent is better than trying to keep up a conversation. its rare to find someone you’re comfortable enough around to just SIT and BE with.
• The way winter sounds is one of my most favorite things in the world ( rain,thunder, wind….).
• My sister has become a street artist.
• I miss writing.

that I used to be good at things.

that I used to be fearless.

that I used to have a voice.

this was a nice reminder.

                  Interview with Katie Fuhrman Editor of Mad Hatter

I had the distinct pleasure of Interviewing Miss Katie Fuhrman, Editor-In-Chief of Mad Hatter Magazine ( www.myspace.com/madhattermag or www.madhattermag.com ) She was kind enough to grant me this interview even with her hectic schedule ( at the time of the interview she had just had her wisdom teeth removed, was packing for Europe, and had just returned from a Summer Abroad). Please keep in mind that Katie is a 20 year old college student, she has created this magazine entirely on her own with a little help from some of her closest friends. If that isn’t something to be amazed by, then I really don’t know what is. Normally, to become the Editor of a Magazine one would have to Intern at a publication, Study Journalism or Creative Writing in College, or have some knowledge of the Industry itself, Katie has defied the odds, she has created a Magazine that has generated quite a bit of buzz on the Warped Tour Circuit, traveled the world, and is now studying abroad in London, and she has managed to do all of this before her Sophomore Year of College.

AH: You created mad hatter this summer. What inspired you to do so?

KF: One of my good friends has her own bracelet line. And even though I know it doesn’t take much for her to make the revenue she does, I couldn’t help but pondering about what she does. She makes thousands of dollars from bracelets! I started thinking and realizing- hey I have a talent. May as well put it to use.

AH: Were there any books, magazines, artists that you drew inspiration from during the process?

KF: I just love reading other people’s writing. In any shape or form. So obviously, yes that inspired me from just reading blogs to reading novels to re-reading the Harry Potter book series for the 7th time.

AH: How did the idea of mad hatter come about? and what led you to choose the name ” mad hatter” ?

KF: I wanted something cooky and catchy. I heard it one day and just chose it! I wish I had a really cool story about it.. but I don’t. Ha ha. And it came about when I realized I had a whole summer ahead of me and I cannot accept not being productive every day. I’m a nerd like that. I have to know I am accomplishing something. Nerd alert.

AH: Have you always wanted to be a writer/editor? if so, what was your first memory of wanting to become one?

KF: I’ve just always loved writing. Emotions and stories told through pure text is beautiful. It’s that simple. I’ve always wanted to be a broadcast journalist, but as college proceeded, I realized that writing was where my heart was.

AH: Tell me little about mad hatter: what is its target audience? what methods did you use to get the word about mad hatter out?

KF: This whole “Scene” will do anything to get the gossip on anyone. Its a fact! Hey, I’m even guilty of it! Ha ha. So it’s aimed at everyone in the scene. EVERYONE. We’ve sold as many copies to the members in bands, to the tour managers, to the fans. Everyone. It’s like one big gossip-happy family. 

AH: How do you find your contributors? What is is that you’re looking for in a story or an artwork? How do you determine the theme for each issue?

KF: Online networking is so key these days. Hell, most people work from their laptop, as I do. Email is so essential. If you can get someone to respond to you quickly, take advantage of it. Respond quick and get the details done NOW. Get commitment. So, so key. 

As for what we look for, we go for the gossip. Which, is terrible in my opinion! But in order to have people give a damn about ANYTHING substantial, you need to cover it up with some bull shit.

AH: What are the future plans for Mad Hatter? Will you continue to publish while you are in Europe?

KF: The most difficult part of Mad Hatter is finding reliable people to work with. NO ONE believes in deadlines anymore and don’t want to work for something when there is nothing in it for themselves. Persistence is key, but it will be difficult when I am in Europe. LUCKILY! Technology allows me to threaten people with emails, tweets, face-book chats, MySpace messages etc.

and finally: I think I will end the interview the way that James Lipton concludes his: with the Pivot Questionnaire. I’ve always found these questions to be so simple yet fascinating, and this class has actually given me a reason to ask them:)

1)What is your favorite word?

Hershey’s Almond Kisses. ALWAYS! And single-stuffed oreos. Double-stuffed is too much going on in one bite!

2)What is your least favorite word?

There’s a tie. Panties, lard, and beef. EW.

3)What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

People. Watching people who truly WANT something and go after it is the BIGGEST motivation and drive I could ask for.

4)What turns you off?

People. I’ve seen so many friends become so self-absorbed that they disregard everyone around them, and still don’t chase their dreams. They forget they have any and settle for everything that’s handed to them.

5)What is your favorite curse word?

Oh Mylanta. 

Does that count? No? Dang.

6)What sound or noise do you love?

OK, embarrassing, I know. But the theme song to Harry Potter….

7)What sound or noise do you hate?

CLICHE, I know, but I haaaaate the sound of nails on a chalkboard. It sticks in my head and I randomly cringe throughout the day.

8)What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Setting up safe houses in Kenya for abused women. Yes, a little different from journalism, I know. But go see the Vagina Monologues! Inspiring, I swear. Hahaha.

9)What profession would you not like to do?

I would never, ever want to be a fashion designer. So many people have that talent. I think fashion is important, but it’s about what you do when you’re wearing the clothes.

10)If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Harry Potter still isn’t real, Katie. Not even in Heaven.

the us cannot compare.

I’m sorry but the uk wins.