the slow dance of the infinite stars.

1) when you smile it makes other people smile ( this is a fact. if you don’t believe me, try it.)

2) laughter cures almost anything and its usually contagious.

3) you don’t really need to try so hard. wanting to be perfect is time consuming and drains you of your energy, you could spend the time you worry about what other people think of you  skydiving or bungee jumping or learning how to skateboard ( all of which will make you happy, or at least give you a little adreneline rush).

4) slow down. don’t be in such a hurry to grow up. life is short and there is so much beauty in the world: take some time to enjoy it.

5) don’t try to do everything at once. there is a saying ” you can have it all, you just can’t have it all at once”. By all means go after what you want and follow your dreams: but try going after one at a time. don’t burn yourself out by trying to be superwoman ( or superman).

6) love yourself first ( this is a hard one) you only have one body, treat it well, don’t abuse it and don’t put all of your hopes and dreams on another person because they might ( and probably will) let you down: learn to be self sufficient. 

7) do your best. thats all you can ask of yourself ( thats all anyone else can ask of you.)

8) be happy. 

I’m falling apart.

I have bruises on my arms and legs that keep getting bigger: bruises that seem to have appeared out of think air.

I am tired all of the time.

I don’t sleep well.

I keep catching colds.

Work was physically and mentally draining today: there was a temp filling in for Juliana, and he kind of creeped me out ( he was too quiet, like serial killer quiet…) so I was jumpy all day. I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off finishing projects, preparing files for court cases, filling in for jen at the front, delivering resumes and mail to judy and whitney and queyn. I was so tired that by the time 4 oclock came around I just bolted out of the office and completely forgot to grab my glasses: so I drove home while partially blind ( not the best Idea in the world.).

I didn’t run this morning: I set my alarm to get up and do so but I fell back asleep.

For some reason people kept complimenting me on my hair: I didn’t do anything to it. I just kept it in a bun all night and didn’t brush it all day so it was a puffy wavy mess.

so much for doing better, oh well, there’s always tomorrow.

igotosleeptodream:

dustedrose:

If only there could be an invention that bottled up a memory, like scent. And it never faded, and it never got stale. And then, when one wanted it, the bottle could be uncorked, and it would be like having the moment all over again.

— Daphne du Maurier

a man in my friend Tal’s Department saw me today and said:

” you giggle a lot”

the only answer I could give him was this:

” yes, I do:)”

I love to laugh. I think the reason I do it so often is because I was sick for so long and during that time I couldn’t feel anything. I was numb, emotionless, I was a robot, and I didn’t care. I didn’t care about myself, or my family, I didn’t care whether I lived or died, I actually WANTED to die because I was so miserable and sad all the time. I had an ache so deep that nothing else could get through. Think of murky ocean water during a storm, think of how dark it looks, that was how I felt, can you imagine feeling that way all day every day? its not something I am proud of, but its something I survived. I’m still not 100% okay, but at least now I can feel things other than sadness, at least now I can laugh, and smile, at least now I have hope.

and I am so grateful for that. 

erebos:

you are perfect you are perfect you are perfect
you are perfect you are perfect you are perfect
you are perfect you are perfect you are perfect

you have a girlfriend

oh.

run as fast as you can in the other direction.

trust me on this. I fell for a boy this year who told me beautiful things, and I believed them all because he seemed perfect, but he had (has) a girlfriend, and he broke my heart because I let myself fall in love with him.

gregholden:

I’m truly astounded at the incompetence of so many companies I’ve dealt with this week. How on earth this world keeps going is beyond me. I think I’m just going to go and live in a cabin in the woods.

pinpricks:

I feel as though the world has frozen over. I’m sorting though paper scraps and dead words. epistles, love letters; unsent, thanks yous, i miss yous, come backs. Traveling hearts are meant to be read, but I’ll bury them for now. No one shatters if the words are not sent; I’ll let them accumulate dust in forgotten drawers. I’ve lost Time. Why is everything so fleeting?

the way ice cold salt water feels on bare skin.

the way sand clings to your body at the beach when it is wet.

bare feet.

laughter and giggles.

the warmth of the sun after I’ve been outside for a long period of time ( I burn easily and haven’t had much time to be outdoors during the day this summer, I’m usually out running in the early morning or late at night so I never get to feel the warmth).

summer concerts.

meeting new people.

feeling content.